F*ck IT

My first addition in a while .. and im pissed drunk..!!..yeah..feels great?,no..not when ur heart is fluttering..racing..driving u crazy & makin’ u sick .. so on Thursday i had my fuckin’ cardiology exam .. as i entered the exam room i felt a cold grip on my heart..i was scared..i sat down..took one look at the questions & almost fainted…they wre hard..i wasnt ready for such kind of questions..i went pale..started sweating,..i felt my heart will implode..or burst..the pain was strange..distant pain that came from somewhee deep inside…i had to be excused .. was transmited to the doctor who dagnosed me with heart arrythmia..tachycardia..flutters..due to stress..exhaustion.lack of sleep,excessive caffeine (ab)use. i also had a blood test done & i got anemia which is strange cuz i’m eatin like a pig lately..they let me go & i can re-take exam again (which is good news – yeah kinda) ..

Last night i had a visit from my 2 bestest friends ever (Greta & Ieva) with another cool dude friend and they brought a whole 1 litre of Tequilla!!MAN!!!!!……but we didnt take pix cuz phone pix suck and we gots no digicam..i tihnk it’d have been cool anyway…to take pix that is..we got Ieva a small cake cuz Friday was her birthday (:*** kisses sugar — love u) we also watched some funneh clips .. Pablo Fransesco ..hes very funny rlly..(ARNOLD IS … Little tortilla boy lol) yeah we also watched SOuth Park (lord of the rings episode) & some Mad TV clips…it was rly good time i am always so happy that my friends keep me company cuz im pretty lonely lonely lately … now im drinking Brandy w/ coke .. listening to this heart-tearing song by the Bahraini singer Khaled Sheikh – Ainaky (your eyes) .. which was originally written by Nizar Qabbani..

Below is the original poem, (with my translation) [..a few lines were omitted in the song but this is the full version]..so The song lyrics are included with the pics I attached 🙂 once again apologies if u can’t read arabic 😦 YOU NEED TO LEARN IT :p

 نزار قباني- نهرالأحزان

عيناكِ كنهري أحـزانِ

نهري موسيقى.. حملاني

لوراءِ، وراءِ الأزمـانِ

نهرَي موسيقى قد ضاعا

سيّدتي.. ثمَّ أضاعـاني

your eyes are two rivers of sorrow

that took me to a time beyond time

two rivers of music

in which i’m lost

الدمعُ الأسودُ فوقهما 

يتساقطُ أنغامَ  بيـانِ 

عيناكِ وتبغي وكحولي

والقدحُ العاشرُ أعماني

Black tears like flowing rains

covering your eyes..

my tobacco..my alcohol

I’m blinded by the 10th glass  

وأنا في المقعدِ محتـرقٌ

نيراني تأكـلُ نيـراني

أأقول أحبّكِ يا قمري؟

آهٍ لـو كانَ بإمكـاني

فأنا لا أملكُ في الدنيـا

إلا عينيـكِ وأحـزاني

I’m Burning in my seat

A fierce fire eating my fire

Shall I say I Love You, my moon

Aaah..i wish i could

for all i have are your eyes..

and my sorrows

سفني في  المرفأ باكيـةٌ

تتمزّقُ فوقَ  الخلجـانِ

ومصيري الأصفرُ حطّمني

حطّـمَ في صدري  إيماني

my ships are broken on the docks

my gloomy destiny broke me

broke my faith

أأسافرُ دونكِ ليلكـتي؟

يا ظـلَّ  الله  بأجفـاني

يا صيفي الأخضرَ ياشمسي

يا أجمـلَ.. أجمـلَ ألواني

my pretty lilac flower..shall i go on without you

when you’re a goddess’ shadow to my eyes 

my green summer .. my sun

my most beautiful..beautiful colors

هل أرحلُ عنكِ وقصّتنا

أحلى من عودةِ نيسانِ؟

أحلى من زهرةِ غاردينيا

في عُتمةِ شعـرٍ إسبـاني

يا حبّي الأوحدَ.. لا تبكي

فدموعُكِ تحفرُ وجـداني

Shall I leave you when we’re prettier than April’s coming back

or a Gardenia in a dark gypsy hair 

my one love..don’t cry

your tears burn my deep

 فأنـا  إنسـانٌ  مفقـودٌ

لا أعرفُ في الأرضِ مكاني

ضيّعـني دربي.. ضيّعَـني

إسمي.. ضيَّعَـني عنـواني

تاريخـي! ما ليَ تاريـخٌ

إنـي نسيـانُ النسيـانِ

إنـي مرسـاةٌ لا ترسـو

جـرحٌ بملامـحِ إنسـانِ

I am but a lost man

Who doesn’t know his place in this existence 

i lost my way

lost my name

lost my address

i  have no history

iam forgotten 

a broken anchor

a wound in the shape of a man

ماذا أعطيـكِ؟ أجيبيـني

قلقـي؟ إلحادي؟ غثيـاني

ماذا أعطيـكِ سـوى قدرٍ

يرقـصُ في كفِّ الشيطانِ

أنا ألـفُ أحبّكِ.. فابتعدي

عنّي.. عن نـاري ودُخاني

فأنا لا أمـلكُ في الدنيـا

إلا عينيـكِ… وأحـزاني

what shall i give you

my worries?..blasphemy?..my sickness

what shall i give you but an uncertain destiny  

i love you a thousand times

so stay away from me

from my burning fire

for i have nothing

but your eyes

and my sorrows




1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Ranin
    Apr 25, 2005 @ 23:21:19

    Great poem abbas….you inspirse me so much when i read such beautiful poems by the famous neza qabani.Hope you\’re feeling better.i\’m always here for you when you need me amigo.keep up the good work.This site is looking hot!love ya…:)


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